I should clarify here that I am NOT a morning person... and so to post something that suggests that mornings are made for man seems crazy. Yet, I have often found that those things that are most beneficial for man are not usually the things they want to consume (like vegetables). And mornings just happens to be one of those things. It is a lesson I learned some months ago... and one that has changed my paradigms about mornings.
Some months ago, I was finding myself starved for inspiration. My time was filled meeting the needs of children, husband, home and church and although I was happy to do this, I could feel that my balance was off. I had no time for myself... time I could feel both my body and my spirit needed. I was feeling discouraged, uninspired and bordering on depression. I found myself dawdling in bed in the mornings, taking long showers, huddling in a corner with a book or retreating to a quiet room for some personal time. It was cutting into my family time and the effects were not positive.
One particular morning, I arose fairly early. (I awake pretty early in the mornings anyway--between 4 and 5am, but rather than arise, I drift back to sleep or lie in bed entertaining foolish imaginations. However, after a particularly difficult night, I decided to arise.)
From our home, we have beautiful views of the surroundings. To the southeast, lies our neighboring city beneath the snow capped mountains. And to the east, majestic mountainsides immediately greet us. I am truly blessed to be surrounded by God's beautiful creations.
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| This is the view from my bedroom window... |
Enveloped in the surrounding beauty, a few things became rather clear to me in those early morning hours.
1. I could not and should never allow myself to be starved for personal time that I take this time during family time.
2. I need to use the early morning hours for personal time.
Now, I should clarify that although I awake at 4 or 5am, I do not actually get out of bed. I am not totally thrilled with the idea of beginning my day at such an early hour. I am certainly NOT a morning person! But after reviewing my days, I realized the early morning hours offered me the best chances of getting some quiet personal time.... time to reflect, time to study, time to pray, time to be inspired and to receive personal revelation. Morning hours have been recommended before to me for personal study time... but I could never seem to make this a habit. On this particular morning, however, I committed to do so.
As I made efforts to actually arise during these early morning hours, I began to feel empowered. In my journal, I recorded the beauty of the early morning hours I often missed because I chose not to arise.
The beautiful pink hue of the sky announcing the rising sun. The majestic mountainsides covered with tufts of snow and wispy bits of cloud clinging lazily to its sides, dissipating in the warmth of the rising sun. The lights of the sleepy town below, once bright in the dark morning hours, slowly dimming, nothing more than the twinkling you find in the smooth surface of untouched snow, calm ocean waters or a beautifully cut diamond. In the warmth of my room and the quiet of my home, I not only saw the peace of the morning hours... I felt it.
With the house quiet, children still sleeping, the rooms warm and inviting, the scene outside all calm, still, and peaceful as the early morning darkness moves slowly into the light, I realized this scene begged those who are willing to enter into its domain to come and learn, come and be inspired. I also realized, it was *the only time of day where darkness actually gives way to light*.... And it suddenly seemed such a shame to waste it.
As I began to appreciate the significance of those early morning hours, I began looking for more about this time of day in my gospel study. In the account of the Creation in Genesis, I began to appreciate the 'separation of the light from the dark' being the first thing done, on the first day.
In the inspired words of the hymn "Joseph Smith's First Prayer", it is implied the sacred events of that day took place that morning and thus begins the familiar hymn: "Oh, how lovely was the *morning*!" (Hymns, no. 26)
And last, but certainly not least, after three days, it is on the "morning" of the third day, the Sabbath, that Jesus arises and is found gone.
There is much beauty to be found in mornings... not just literally, but figuratively, symbolically as well.
And although there is no specific time one need use for personal time, personal inspiration and revelation, or for personal scripture study and prayer, I can not help but make a case for mornings, even early morning hours. I am not an early morning person myself (especially after many years of being up with little ones), but I have since claimed those hours for me... because there is something special in those morning hours that are difficult to find during any other part of the day, making it a great time to be inspired personally.
3. Use evenings for family time.
In trying to find a time and a means to inspire my family, I read something some years ago that left an impression on me. I quote what has since become one of my favorite excerpts from a book called *Leadership Education: Phases of Learning *by Oliver DeMille. He says :
"It is not too much of an exaggeration to say that in the evening we are all inspired--by something, to something. Sometimes the something is good--or not; sometimes it is planned and led by the parents to help the children--or not. Evenings are for inspiration; and we can be inspired for greatnes or otherwise. If you have struggled to inspire [your family], ..., and it just does not seem to work, look closely at your evenings. If there is something you really want to inspire, consider what evening event will best accomplish it.
"Perhaps the easiest evening inspiration is just reading a great book together as a family. This teaches and inspires on so many levels. Board games can be good, trivia or quiz games, cookouts around the campfire with singing, working in the garden together in the evening dusk, sitting around outside and waiting to count the stars together, telling stories of ancestors by the fireplace or grill, "shooting hoops" in the driveway or tossing a football on the front lawn. A variety is good over the year. But in our opinion, the evening reading of a great book is still the best because it is simply the most inspiring. ...
"The Hebrews taught that the day started not at sunrise, but at sundown each evening. Thus, the most important part of the day in the Hebrew tradition is the evening, since how you spend your evening has the most impact on your entire day. The Hebrews taught that we should start the day with making each evening wonderful. A good day will naturally follow. In the West, with our emphasis on morning and our use of the evening as entertainment, it is not surprising that we have lost touch with the inspirational, the heavenly and the eternal. Our pragmatic realism is an illness, one easily reinforced by our poor evening choices. Evenings are inspirational. Be wise about what you inspire." (Excerpt taken from *Leadership Education: The Phases of Learning*by Oliver DeMille).
Like my recent epiphany about mornings, I came to appreciate then the significance of evenings. My husband and I understood we needed to organize opportunities for familial growth, closeness and inspiration... and evenings seemed to be the best time. With Oliver DeMille's insight, it added clarity to choosing this time of day as "family time".
Of course, once a week, LDS church leaders recommend a formal "family home evening". But, we have found we could use every evening as a sort of "family home evening"--much less formal, of course, but still a "family home evening". So, as often as we could, we would read, play games, watch movies, talk, create something, sing, and make music together as a family. These activities followed seamlessly after family dinner and family work (putting food away, cleaning dishes, putting younger children into their pajamas, etc), and flowed naturally afterward into family scripture study and then family prayer.
As our children grew, evenings became busy with performances, youth activities, and friends. However, even then we would try to make it as much of a "family home evening" as we could--supporting and attending performances together or making our home a place the children would want to bring their friends. Even in youth and primary activities, we were blessed to have children of an age where there were at least always two of them that were in the same organization together; and thus a sense of family was still present as the children made way to their activities together. It was always fun to have them come back and relay the activities they enjoyed together, and have other children reminisce of their time together in the same organizations.
Recently, our evenings have been changed yet again. With Dad's new work, he is often working long into the evenings or out of town. But even then, small efforts are made simply to be together. When Dad returns from work, often tired, he still makes it a point to be present physically in the evenings, even if it means he falls asleep. Through the years, our children have gotten into the habit of being together in the evenings. And even though each family member might be doing something different, we all seem to do it in close proximity to each other physically. One child might be strumming the guitar in one corner, a couple other children may be playing card games, another child could be on the computer and still another child would be playing video games. Dad may be asleep on the couch and I may be at the table reading and writing, but again, we are all in the same room. And even though there is no organized family activity in this gathering, there are still many unseen benefits.
Before the night is over, I may look up to find my four younger children have gathered around the table to write/draw and read next to Mom, while a teenage daughter and son have taken up a seat on either side of their sleeping father to "watch" a movie together and still another teenage daughter and son have moved to a corner to collaborate on a song together. Each doing their own thing, but all in close proximity to one another, all in the same room. Through the years, we have learned, even if we are doing different things being together as a family is valued and important to us.
Another added benefit: it becomes easy to see if someone is struggling with something. If a family member is absent or chooses not to be part of this gathering, it is almost invariably because something is wrong. Sometimes, we allow those members time and space to deal with their struggle, letting them know we are here if they need us. Other times, we intervene.
So, when I began retreating to my room for some "personal time", I should have known something was wrong....
And this brings me back to where I began. After a difficult night trying to articulate in my mind what I was struggling with, I arose early the next morning... the family room was in disarray, pieces of paper and other debris strewn across the family room and onto the connecting kitchen floor, children had fallen asleep in the family room and the dishes were piled high in the sink--the result of the previous evening. But I had been absent and therefore was not there to lead... especially where the family work was concerned.
But, as I stood there thinking while I was doing the dishes in the quiet early morning hours, looking out the picture window above the kitchen sink at the beautiful snow-covered mountains as the sun began to rise, in my mind, darkness truly gave way to light. It became clear to me what I needed to do... And after I finished the dishes, I recorded my findings, my life lesson, in my journal:
1. I could not and should never allow myself to be starved for personal time that I take this time during family time.
2. I need to use the early morning hours for personal time.
3. Use evenings for family time.
Sound familiar?
