The Gift of Asking Questions...

I remember as a teen and into my young adult years, I really had a phobia about asking questions. If I had to articulate why I felt that way, it would be because it made me feel stupid.

I know, I know... I have heard that adage, "There is no such thing as a stupid question." Fine. But that is certainly not how I felt. In fact, the older I got, the less and less I would ask questions. If I did feel the need to ask a question, I would always go over it in my mind.... just to make sure it was a "good" question before I "asked" it. (Remember... I had to avoid looking stupid...) Pretty shallow, I know.

Recently, though, I have come to really appreciate what a gift asking questions can be. And you know the funny thing is.... children seem to have this gift in abundance. They have a million and one questions about everything under the sun.... Actually, I take that back... they have questions about the sun and everything around and above it too. Children just seem to have this natural gift of asking questions so uninhibitedly. And I think there are great lessons to be learned from that. It reminds me of a particular life experience that happened earlier in my married life and one I recently recalled--

About 10 years ago, when my (now 19yo) son, Hailame, was about 9 years old, we were sitting down as a family for Family Home Evening. My husband was giving the lesson and as part of the lesson, he was sharing the story found in the New Testament of the sick (palsy) man who was lowered down through the roof to get to Jesus, in a home that was completely packed with people. Immediately, my then-little son began asking questions: “How did the sick man get on the roof? How did they get his bed on the roof?”

My husband answered his questions briefly and then tried to redirect his attention back to the main point of the lesson. But my son’s curiosity kept the questions coming: “How did they get the man on the bed and then down through the roof? How did they get those other men onto the roof (who helped the sick man down)?” Exasperated, my husband stopped the lesson and began chastising my son for asking, what appeared to my husband to be, insignificant questions. He went on to explain the necessity of asking "good", better questions.

Of course, my son’s feelings were hurt and needless to say our family home evening was brought to an end and the children were sent off to bed. While the children prepared for bed, my husband and I talked and agreed that an apology was in order. But I could tell my husband's heart was not completely in it. He felt it was important to ask "good" questions and the instruction he was giving his son was out of love. But he offered to apologize anyway.  

A couple weeks later, after our sacrament meeting, my husband was asked if he would take, bless and administer the sacrament to members of our ward that were confined to their homes usually due to medical reasons. We called them “shut-ins”. My husband agreed, but having no companion, he decided to take our 9yo son, Hailame.

When they returned home, later that day, my son came charging through the door. He was smiling, laughing, and talking so fast I could not understand a word he was saying. After a few minutes, I caught the phrase “I have to go and tell my sister” and then he was gone.

Hoping I could get an explanation from my husband, I watched for him as he followed our son into the house. Surprisingly, my husband’s demeanor was drastically different from what I saw in our son just moments before. My husband was very quiet... and I thought I even detected tears in his eyes. He did not say anything to me, but simply motioned for me to follow him to the family room and there he explained the following—

After he had finished blessing and administering the sacrament at the first home, he felt prompted to stay and visit a bit with this elderly member. The member was thrilled and expressed how wonderful it was to have visitors, especially young visitors from the Primary. Much of the little time they had together visiting was spent interacting with my 9yo son. Because of its success, my husband and son lingered a bit at every home they visited.

At the last home, my husband administered the sacrament to an elderly sister. As soon as she realized they would linger a bit to visit with her, she immediately began addressing my son. She talked about the many places she had traveled and at one point, she stopped and took a photo album off a nearby shelf. She asked my son, “Have you ever heard the story of the sick man that was brought through the roof to be healed by Jesus?” My husband reported, “My son looked at me and nodded his head.”  Then this sister asked, “Do you know how they were able to do that?” Looking at his dad again, my son shook his head.

Opening her album, she flipped to a set of pictures she took during a trip to the Holy Land. In the pictures, she shows my son a hillside and along this hillside, there are homes. As I understood it, because of the sloping feature of the hillside, the homes are built almost like a flight of stairs. The roof of one home could easily serve as the patio or porch of another home. Because of this, it would be easy for anyone to stand on the roof of the home just below it... and thus easy for four men to lower a sick man on a bed through the roof into a home, because the roof would be nearly flush with the front door of the home that stood above it on the hillside. In the course of just a few minutes’ visit and without even knowing it, this elderly sister answered every single question my son had posed just a few nights previous.

In the car on their way home, my husband reported, he once again apologized to this son of his. But this time the apology was much more sincere from a much more humbled father. 

Reflecting on that experience, I am touched at how easily it is for a child to ask questions and expect answers.  Somewhere along the path of life, as I get older, I lose that uninhibited ability to not only ask, but to expect answers. 

Perhaps this is why the Lord encourages us to "behold our little ones" and to "become ye even as a little child". In the scriptures, He has certainly been clear about asking questions: "Ask and ye shall receive." Short, simple and to the point. Maybe this is where I have to practice a little more faith and a lot more humility. 

If you think about it, asking questions requires a certain degree of vulnerability... and confidence. "Vulnerable" because you have to humble yourself enough to know that you need help. And "confident" because you expect there will be an answer. I know it is not coincidence that our children would have this gift down so well......

Any questions?