Yesterday, I received my weekly email from my missionary son.
He wrote -- "....this week i have thought about something hermana Ailine Kinikini said to me in a short email. she said ¨When PREPARED is met with WILLING the Lord can bring mircals¨ this week i have seen the truth and the power in these words. earlier this week my trainer called me heartless... hahaha. although he said it in a joking tone i could see a little bit of seriousness in the way he said it. he was talking about his family and his girl and how much he cried and all that when he left home and then asked me how badly cried when i left. i said i didnt and then he asked okay how many times did you cry in the MTC again i said i didnt. (not saying i dont miss you guys but i just dont feel like crying. haha.) then he asked if i have cried since being here i said no so he asked if i even miss my family i answered yes but i still would rather be here than home. and then he screamed HEARTLESS!!! and tried to smile and laugh it off. but i could tell he was a litle bit serious. haha. anyways the reason i bring this up is because after he said that i strated thinking if i was or not and then i thought about the words that Ailine shared with me. ¨when prepared is met with willing the lord can bring to pass mircals.¨ and i thought about the meaning behind it. in order to prepare for something we first need to be willing to do whatever it takes to get ready for what is to come. if we are not willing then the Lord cannot prepare us. the lord truly prepared me for this work because i was first willing to change. but in order to continue to change we need to continue to be willing to. when i arrived in this country i decided not to let anything in this country bother me. i said to myself not matter what happens you dont let anything or anyone affect who you are. in a way that is a good thing. but i see now that as i have made the decision to not change for the bad it has also stopped my growth for the good. it reminded me of something you said to me in an earlier email. in order to grow fast we must break. but in order to break we must be willing to. like i said when i got to this country i decided i woundnt break not for anything. but i have seen and come to realize that the lord givs us trials to break so that we can then grow. if we are unwilling to break then we are unwilling to learn. and the preparation for what is to come stops there. and then the lord can no longer prepare us because we are no longer willing to let him. mom this week i have found that i need to be broken. like you said this is not a competition. but i am now ready again to change and change for the better. i am willing to let the lord prepare me so that i can change for the better." --Elder Moses Kinikini
As I read my son's email, I was reminded of the scripture in Doctrine & Covenants 59:8, "Offer a sacrifice unto the Lord thy God in righteousness, even that of a broken heart and contrite spirit." It is the scripture I use as the theme and name of this blog. It is also one of my favorite scriptures.
Additionally, as I read my son's email, my mind immediately turned to a neglected little space I have had on the world wide web. Back in the day, I had started this blog to record and share lessons I had learned in life. Specifically, I had hoped that through the lessons I had learned and the thoughts I chose to share, my testimony of a Savior I had come to love would be evident.
Unfortunately, my efforts have been weak. This is not to suggest that I have not had lessons to share nor that my testimony of the Savior has waned. In fact, it has been quite the opposite. I have simply not taken the time to share and post my lessons or my thoughts like I had wanted to. And lately it has left me feeling a little... well... broken.
So I am renewing my efforts to try to be a little better, to change, to grow. The world wide web has been used for so many things... and here, I get an opportunity to use it promote good, to uplift, to testify and hopefully to edify. Therefore, I will follow the example of a young man I know, serving the Lord somewhere in the Dominican Republic. A young man who is serving the Lord by sharing his testimony, his thoughts, and lessons learned about the Savior Jesus Christ.
I, too, have a testimony of Him. I know that He lives and that He loves each and every one of us. I also know that He desires nothing greater than for all of us to be able to live together eternally. He will do His part, and we must do ours. This life is an opportunity for us to prepare ourselves to reach that celestial goal. Many have shared snippets of that journey through this life on the web, and I am choosing to join that effort. I do not have a lot to offer the Savior. But I do know that if I so choose, I can offer Him the only things that are truly mine to give... my heart and my spirit... even that of a broken heart and a contrite spirit.
Have a blessed day, y'all!